Dear Together Friends, Fans, and Family,
Happy autumn. . . welcome fall! We all made it and are back in the swing of things, right? RIGHT? Dr. Together and I got the semi-Together Tween/Teen crew out the door for the start of school and everyone appeared to have shoes, Chromebooks, and lunches. Success! I am deep in my Sports Mom era, and if you need me this fall, I will be at high school volleyball matches and middle school travel soccer games. And probably the orthopedist.
Anyway. . . as a lover of athletics, and the outdoors, I’m here for it all. Sidenote: One of our kids’ middle schools just shifted policy to a “Phones Away for the Day,” and I am so pleased the middle schoolers can hang at lunch and play Uno. Call me old-fashioned. . .
We successfully got all the semi-Together Tweens/Teens off to school!
I’m sitting here in September thinking a lot about setting expectations, mainly because I’m a former classroom teacher (as I recently said to the group of brand-new teachers pictured below, “You know when I was a teacher IN THE 1900s. . .”), and that is what start-of-school is often about. But also because I’ve been on the receiving end of some expectation-setting lately, and it’s pretty fascinating – and I’ve been watching folks lay out plans with others. Here are a few examples I’ve encountered and my quick take on them.
- How can you share and discuss concerns with us?
This one was straight out of the Band app for my daughter’s high school volleyball team, directed toward the parents. The coaches laid it out there, based on past experience, I can only imagine.
I really loved the “Observe a 24-hour waiting period. . . “These coaches are encouraging us take a deep breath, and essentially forcing a cool off period. Do you have any predictable areas of concern on your team or with your constituents? I’m thinking of things like after grades come out, when compensation is shared, or when a policy is changed.
- Which communication or organizational tools do we use and why?
I think about this area a lot, especially as it relates to onboarding and inclusive cultures. In too many organizations, there are a lot of hidden norms as it relates to communicating – and I always appreciate organizations trying to make the implicit explicit. The example below is a working draft from a nonprofit organization called The Women’s Home in Texas. How does your team, school, district, or nonprofit spell out any communication agreements? (Note: Chapter 11 in The Together Leader is full of other examples.)
- How do we gather, when, and why?
Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Tis the season, and I’m sure you have seen all of the memes about “let’s push this to September” coming back to haunt us. If it is not obvious or evident in your organization, it is worth spelling out together – and getting feedback – what the expectations are for gatherings. Everything from purpose to participants to preparation needed. My dear friend LaNiesha over at the nonprofit Braven laid out a great Meeting Matrix for her team. You can also find more in Chapter 5 in The Together Leader.
Here are a few things that come to mind for me as I think about Together Systems this time of year. (Note: you might also want to reference last year’s August (New Year) newsletter where I listed out tips for calendar prep!)
Anyway, the overall point here is expectations. What are they, how do we create them collaboratively, reset them when necessary, are they equitable and clear, and have we said them aloud? Yes, it takes time none of us may have, but whenever I think about NOT setting expectations, I picture myself as a 22-year-old fourth grade teacher just walking in and starting to teach – and we all know how that would have turned out! Speaking of, this is the semester Dr. Together and I decided our kids need to learn to truly deep clean, and they decided they wanted to learn from YouTube and TikTok. Ummmmm. . . . This is gonna be interesting!
Even bathrooms (especially bathrooms!) need expectations set!
#clogsandclipboards #togetherforever
MHM
PS Together Friend Erica Beal, the ED of School Leader Lab, shared an adult-facing back-to-school playlist. Inspired by President Obama’s summer reading lists, Erica built hers, and I love it. What is on your BTS playlist? The last two songs are faves of mine.
Top Together Tributes
- Self-compassion is key—for Olympians and us mere mortals. If you’re anything like me, you were glued to your TV watching the Olympics last month (marathon swimming dreams over here!). Whether you’re an elite athlete or doing high-pressure mission-driven work in education or other nonprofit fields, showing yourself some compassion can improve your confidence and performance under pressure.
- Turn your habits into rituals. Every day we engage in various rituals, often without even realizing. In this episode, researcher Michael Norton explains how rituals can help ease anxiety, form good habits, and possibly cultivate joy! Some favorites included: shout “squirrel” or have a random ideas day. . .
- Let’s go beyond “cutesy wellness” for our teachers. Check out how these administrators are going above and beyond the basics, transforming their school culture to ensure that their educators feel valued and supported. Anyone have a “tap-in / tap-out” system?
