Dear Together Friends, Fans, and Family,
I almost didn’t send a newsletter this month, you all. Between election edginess, two funerals for women my age (one a planned memorial, and another very unexpected), and two family members in the ICU (one planned procedure, and one unplanned situation), it has been a bit of a six-week stint. I could also mention two Homecomings for the Together Teens (freshman / senior), multiple college applications submitted, more travel soccer games than this goalie mom can count, and several work trips, all of which has left me feeling a bit depleted. Though that didn’t stop me from ordering a 14-foot (which is the ARCH measurement, not the total height, whoops) Halloween cat inflatable for my house and bringing back The Frizz, so all is not lost here.
We misunderstood the 14-foot measurement, but it works!
AND YET – because I always have an “and yet” – while sitting in a hotel room working remotely near Mass General for a few days, I started to think about the power of showing up. Yes, it takes effort, yes, it takes time, and yes, it takes planning. There were more than a few times I considered not showing up because the logistics of getting to Martha’s Vineyard for a dear friend’s memorial service felt daunting, because taking five 6th grade boys to their outdoor education trip on the Chesapeake after they attended a funeral for their friend’s mom felt overwhelming, and because ISN’T ONE HIGH SCHOOL HOMECOMING ENOUGH? (No, says my freshman, so she went to two.) But then I remembered a dear friend who hopped on an Amtrak from NYC to DC immediately after hearing I decided to divorce, another friend who hopped a plane from Minneapolis to Chicago after my father passed away simply to have lunch, and another friend who sent me a gorgeous wooden Maine cutting board for my birthday – and on that last one, she showed up to the post office, so that is like extra points. And so I rallied myself through and spent the past six weeks showing up as best I could.
What’s the connection to Togetherness? Well, isn’t the whole point of Togetherness to make time in service of our priorities – which for many of us, includes our relationships with other humans? Logistically, showing up takes time in our calendars, planning pre- and post-events, and time communicating with others.
- How will you decide when and how to show up? In my case, it was large life events, core memories if you will, that I chose to attend, or situations that truly involved supporting or helping others I care about. Along the way, I decided NOT to show up to a couple more routine events. Sorry, book club!
- Do you have any planned Showing Up in the next few months? Does it need buffers around the edges? Is there any preparation you can do? Do you need to add margin for the unexpected? I try to leave some margin in the back end of my weeks.
- How will you clear space for Unplanned Showing Up in this season? Whether an unexpected health concern, impromptu party, or final voter canvassing? Do you know what in your calendar could be delayed or downgraded? (Side note: for an interesting conversation on loosening the calendar, take a peek over on LinkedIn.)
That’s what I have today, you all. Showing Up takes time – and it is almost always worth it.
#clipboardsandclogs #togetherforever
MHM
PS Together Team members Ana and Kendra got to hang with my author bestie Elena in San Diego! Worlds collide!
Top Together Tributes
There’s an app for that…but do you want it? These days, everything has an app. They’re intended to make connection easier, but sometimes it feels overwhelming! And if someone could PLEASE invent an app that consolidates all the kids’ sports apps (I’m looking at you, TeamSnap, Band, Sports Engine and more!), there would be a LOT of happy parents!- Email, email, email. Ann Patchett’s been wondering if starting using email was all a huge mistake! And Cal Newport’s over here imagining a world without email. While that is a pretty radical take, it’s definitely worth reexamining how you and your team communicate with each other.
- Flexibility is king. On her Organize 365 podcast, Lisa Woodruff says that when life comes at you fast, being flexible-minded is key. Create a goal for what you want to accomplish by the end of the day, and keep that goal in mind as you adjust HOW you achieve it. Also I have this book on my list to read! Anyone read it yet?
There’s an app for that…but do you want it? These days, everything has an app. They’re intended to make connection easier, but sometimes 
